Posts tagged adversity

I know I said my latest post was the conclusion on my blog about adversity. The events that transpired yesterday made me add one more.

I was suppose to watch the NBA Finals before going through my itinerary. A business dedication at 4pm, a meeting with 2 of our youth leaders at 6pm, and a 1 Life to Live big group at 8pm. I have to ask someone to fill in for me because of a toothache. This is what happened instead…

I went to the dentist from 10: 30am-12: 30pm. My swollen gums prohibited her from extracting my tooth. Doctor’s instructions were to take antibiotics and painkillers. When I got home, I was still in so much pain. We called up the dentist and she asked me to go back again. She said we’d have to remove the tooth even if my gums are swollen. From 4pm-7pm, we tried to no avail. It was more painful now even with anesthesia. We ended up taking apart just a portion of the tooth.

When I got home my toothache was intensely throbbing. The pain is like being injected in the affected area over and over again. Ouch! We called the doctor at 10:30pm. She said I should go back to the clinic. She will extract the tooth even if it hurts so that the pain will be alleviated.

I rode a Taxicab following doctor’s advice not to drive. We had another procedure at 11pm that ended at 1am. The dentist said this was her first time to accept a patient at 11pm. All in all I was in the dentists’ chair for 7 hours. This experience is traumatic! I wanted to cry because of the pain but I have to remain tough. Aside from the fact that my dentist is a woman, she is also a member of our church. I would just wipe a tear every now and then. haha

As I write today, with antibiotics on hand and gums still aching, I woke up thanking God that the pain is gone. I appreciated my day just because it’s back to normal once again. We often take for granted the normal events of life. After yesterday, my normal days won’t be so normal again. Having a thankful heart towards our creator makes everyday special.

The year I lost my business was the hardest and most painful year of my life. But I can sincerely say that it was also my best year as well. There’s just so much to share from that experience. One of the most important lesson I learned was to make my stumbling blocks into stepping-stones.

“The Future looks so bright I got to wear shades” is indeed a cliché that hasn’t lost its luster. It’s candid how I relate in my mind that catch phrase to the Bible in the book of Hebrews where it says ”Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” Adversity will reveal what kind of faith you have in yourself, in your endeavor, and most importantly in God. Faith gives you a better view of life.

Even though you’re in a quagmire, always remember that there is light at the end of the tunnel. In other words, your future is how you see it!

I am now part of this club who pride themselves in saying that you are not truly a businessman until you lost money in a business. I just wish I didn’t have to lose that much to join this club. If you are having difficulty in your business and you ask anyone whose part of this club to give you advice, it’s amazing how all of them will say this one liner…”Lalagpas din yan!” This too shall pass. It’s not the end of the world for you but the start of something great =)

This concludes my blog on adversity. My next blog entry will be a series on How to start a business with Common Sense.

EQ is your Emotional Quotient; it’s how well you handle your emotions in times of distress. Research says that EQ is 24 times more powerful than IQ. Wow! No wonder people are so illogical. How many times have you heard the line…I Love You…only to see the relationship end. Statistics say that this happens to 50% of married couples. Sad.

Going back to our failed business adventure, with all the problems brewing, the worst is when I have to talk to seven investors who lost all their money. Around P300, 000 to P800, 000 each. This is probably the most difficult thing I have ever done in my professional life. I can still recall the agony of it all. The sleepless nights! The fear of receiving a text message from them…or worse a call. My experience made me so much tougher mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Good thing I didn’t need to be tougher physically as there were no glasses or fists thrown at me.

(I’ll share some tips about this in a future blog entitled How to talk with angry people. Can you think of a better title in a situation like this? Guess not.)

John Maxwell sums up the importance of our emotions in his book Failing Forward. He mentions that “There is one major difference between average people and successful people … it’s their reaction to failure.”

Kat was due in three weeks. I found out that the remaining balance we owe for our leased space in a certain mall was around P350, 000. Our bankrupt company has P100, 000 left, so it took me another 2 weeks to raise the remaining P250, 000 deficit. Lo and behold when I returned with the full balance, accounting told me that there is an interest of P70, 000 for the 2 weeks delay. For those of you less cunning readers, that’s an interest of P5, 000 per day. Our store is already close at this time with no operation.

I talked to the lease managers several times almost begging them not to add interest. All to No Avail! (I won’t mention which mall did this. Lets just say that they were this greedy even though, “They have it All!”)

I had to drain all our savings to lend it to the company so that we can start dismantling the facility w/ no further interest & sell the dismantled items. Money I was reserving for Kat’s delivery.

First rule in adversity: Never Panic! I forced my mind to think of ways to raise money without incurring any more debt. After three days, our hospital bill came out at P85, 000. When all was said and done, we ended up having almost three times the amount we needed. In three Days!

When your facing incredible odds toward success, think of your love ones so that you can get strength from the adversity. And do not stop believing in yourself because if you do, then no one will. By the way, after two years, the mall hasn’t found anyone to rent our space until now.

When Kat, my wife, was a few days due with our first baby, I have zero money in the bank. (I’ll tell you what happened in the next point.) Every night I would pray and cry in our bed without showing it to her.

Before I do this, I would kiss her tummy and talk to our baby. While kissing her tummy, a tear fell from my eye. Kat felt it and immediately asked me…”Jayce are you crying?” I wasn’t able to contain myself and I burst into tears.

It was the first time she saw me crying because of a business problem. She started crying and hugged me tightly pleading for me to stop. We we’re both crying hard now. I kissed her lips even though both our faces were drenched with tears.

Then all of a sudden, what the bible calls “THE PEACE OF GOD WHICH TRANSCENDS ALL UNDERSTANDING” filled our hearts.

A supernatural confidence came to both of us. We were truly filled with so much unexplainable joy and peace. I know right there and then that I can lose my business, I can lose all the money I have in the bank, but if God is there for me and my family is with me, then Life is Complete. Everything will be ok.

I learned this lesson the hard way “The most important things in life are not things, the most important things in life are relationships.”

I love this quote by Charles Spurgeon “It is doubtful that God can use a man greatly until he has wounded him deeply.”

A successful businessman who has grown his business from an SME to a Large Corporation told me that in business or life just like in war, you should be proud when you have battle scars, “Lalo kang gumagwapo!” I told him if that was the case…I should look like Brad Pitt by now.

Your character gets stronger through adversity as it reveals to you who you really are as a person. As you squeeze an orange to get its juice; adversity can squeeze life out of you for better or for worse. Because of the trials you are facing, you will discover a part of you that you’ve never known existed…from a child you become a man, from a mouse you become a lion, from being hopeless you become hopeful, and from being fearful you become someone whose fearless!

Nowadays whenever I have big problems, I would just recall my failed business experience and without exception it will bring a smile to my face making me optimistic to deal with the challenges I have today.

A question that I’m sure all of us have asked God one way or another is “Why do people have to go through adversity?” More specifically for me, why did our restaurant business fail miserably leaving a trail of despair in it’s midst? Why does God allow such things?

We lost almost P10 million. Blood sweat and tears were all part of the ingredients. It happened at a time when my wife is pregnant with our first baby, at a time when I’ve focused all my efforts in the business while leaving other business opportunities aside. At a time when my mother is in need financially because she was diagnosed with cancer.

I had to talk to investors who lost millions. I had to fend off angry employees. I have to shamelessly negotiate with our leases. I have to beg our suppliers and creditors for extension. I have to borrow money from friends and relatives. Almost everyday I was funding checks that are due. I used up all our savings. I lost almost everything I’ve worked for just to make the business work. It still didn’t. But rather than focus on what the eye can see, I shifted to the things that only the mind and heart can see.

In my search for answers, God has been gracious. I’ve learned more from that single year than all the years of my life combined. One thing that stands out from my recent experience is in making adversity my ally instead of my foe. What did I learn? I’ll be sharing 5 things in the next 5 days about Adversity.